electron zoo

For those of us who aren’t sitting in rain waiting outside the Apple store — or even those who are — here are five timekillers. (Also, here are my pics of the DC area Apple store.)

The iPhone is the business media’s Paris Hilton. Because combining the words “iPhone” with “Paris Hilton” into one headline is pure genius.

Steven Colbert’s iPhone Review. I actually have the same iPhone model as he does. The limited Imaginary Edition.

The iPhone plays voicemail in whatever order you want, which is a great feature to use while your world is crumbling around you.

iLines across USA. Soon, these will be just about the only people in the country who can personally attest to how much the iPhone actually sucks. But they won’t admit it — well, not for a week or two, anyway.

Build your own iPhone in 3 easy steps. As long as you don’t care whether it’s small, black, shiny, or even an iPhone.

With the scorge of iPods ravaging our nation, I feel it’s my civic duty to educate my readers about basic iPod safety. To ensure your personal safety and the safety of those around you while using your iPod, please take the following three easy steps.

1. Use larger headphones. Sure, white earbuds are hip, but big studio headphones are even cooler. The people around you will recognize your unwavering appreciation for sound quality, while also recognizing that you can’t hear a damn thing. You will be safe from others attempting to speak to you while at the same time securing your image as an uncompromising music lover.
2. Practice sign language. Rather than removing your headphones in order to speak with others, try learning sign language. A practice well established by the deaf, sign language is an effective, widespread method for communicating without the use of hearing. Using sign language will enable you to order a triple mocha latte at Starbucks without interrupting the breakdown.
3. Bling your iPod. iPod muggings have been taking place in major cities worldwide. It is of increasing importance that you keep your iPod visible at all times, not only by using it openly in the street, but also by dressing up your iPod in striking accessories. Some possibilities to consider include designer hoodies, an uber-yuppie fannie pack, a totebag with built-in speakers, or a glamorous floral printed case that makes it look like a Fifth Avenue clutch. Muggers will know better than to tread on your style.

By taking these three simple steps, you can enjoy your tunes in peace knowing that the world knows you’re a hip and unique individual who’s not to be reckoned with. Or spoken to.

Please tune in for my next round of safety tips: "How to Properly Enjoy DVDs and Playstation in the Comfort of Your Own Car".

I’ve done my share of illegal file sharing on the internet. I mean really, I was in college when Napster became a household word, and who doesn’t want music for free?

These days, I’m done with pirating music for many reasons. For one, it’s a major pain in the butt — files are hard to get and often named wrong. Even worse, a lot of the time when you think you’ve found what you were looking for, it turns out to be a corrupted copy the record label is distributing to discourage music pirates. But the most upsetting problem with pirating music is, well, getting caught by The Man.

So these days, my approach to music is really old-fashioned — I buy CDs and trade them with friends. How 1995.

I’ve also experimented with paid music downloads. When the iTunes music store came out, I tried it right away. But I was pretty disappointed with it — I got some .m4p file that only played in iTunes or on an iPod. Oh — and I don’t own in iPod. Yes, really, I actually don’t have one. For real.

This Saturday, I was driving my car (something I don’t do much these days) with the windows rolled down. I was blasting some tunes on WHFS, which was once a very progressive and edgy radio station before it went soft in recent years and starting playing too much pop alternative. But now rockin’ music is finally coming back into style to replace the constant rehash of Pearl Jam, Creed, and crap that’s been playing on the radio. I was thinking that the main reason I wasn’t too into pirating music anymore had something to do with the fact that new, mainstream music just hadn’t been cuttting it for me anyway. But on Saturday I heard a song I had to download immediately — Somebody Told Me by The Killers.

But (as I previously mentioned) it’s nearly impossible to pirate brand spanking new songs these days. So I figured I’d check out the new Napster. And here’s what I have to say about it: it’s really not that bad, if you can get over the fact that it costs money, and there’s really no getting around it.

My download came with a free week of “Napster Premium”, a service that costs about $10/month. I don’t think they explained what the service could and could not do very well, because I was pretty confused even after reading the FAQ. “Napster Premium” allows you to listen to unlimited full-length songs and download them to your music library. But if you want to burn the songs to a CD or copy them to your MP3 player, you still have to buy them for $0.99 each, which you can do with or without their subscription service. It enforces this policy using WMA files locked down with Windows Media Player 9 Digital Rights Management — a little internet searching demonstrated this is pretty close to impossible to crack. But I can listen to the files in Winamp, so I’m not stuck with just Windows Media Player and Napster. (But I’m totally stuck with Windows!)

After some thinking about it, I’d say the Napster Premium subscription service is comparable with XM Radio or even Columbia House (now that’s old school.) It probably gives them a run for their money given the way you can get way more music and get it on demand. But then again, it keeps you glued to your computer unless you want to throw down a lot more cash. ($0.99 a song is reasonable, but it can add up fast.)

So there’s my quick review of Napster. In short, it’s alright, and I got my rockin’ song by The Killers off of Napster onto my iRiver MP3 player without a lot of trouble — after I paid for it.