electron zoo

With the scorge of iPods ravaging our nation, I feel it’s my civic duty to educate my readers about basic iPod safety. To ensure your personal safety and the safety of those around you while using your iPod, please take the following three easy steps.

1. Use larger headphones. Sure, white earbuds are hip, but big studio headphones are even cooler. The people around you will recognize your unwavering appreciation for sound quality, while also recognizing that you can’t hear a damn thing. You will be safe from others attempting to speak to you while at the same time securing your image as an uncompromising music lover.
2. Practice sign language. Rather than removing your headphones in order to speak with others, try learning sign language. A practice well established by the deaf, sign language is an effective, widespread method for communicating without the use of hearing. Using sign language will enable you to order a triple mocha latte at Starbucks without interrupting the breakdown.
3. Bling your iPod. iPod muggings have been taking place in major cities worldwide. It is of increasing importance that you keep your iPod visible at all times, not only by using it openly in the street, but also by dressing up your iPod in striking accessories. Some possibilities to consider include designer hoodies, an uber-yuppie fannie pack, a totebag with built-in speakers, or a glamorous floral printed case that makes it look like a Fifth Avenue clutch. Muggers will know better than to tread on your style.

By taking these three simple steps, you can enjoy your tunes in peace knowing that the world knows you’re a hip and unique individual who’s not to be reckoned with. Or spoken to.

Please tune in for my next round of safety tips: "How to Properly Enjoy DVDs and Playstation in the Comfort of Your Own Car".

The biggest recent story in the crossover news category of celebrity gadgets is Paris Hilton’s hacked Sidekick 2. I know, this is so a couple of weeks ago, but hey, I’ve been busy.

First off, as a gadget fan, I think it’s sorta cool that she has a Sidekick. It makes me think she’s a bit of a gadget affectionado when, according to a New York City blogger who chatted with her on the street, she tells strangers all about her (diamond-encrusted) Sidekick 2, saying “it’s way better than a Blackberry”. I can relate. (Although part of me wonders if that’s because you can’t get a diamond-encrusted Blackberry. Or perhaps because advertisements for Blackberrys don’t heavily use bright magenta like T-Mobile’s Sidekick ads do. But I will give her the benefit of the doubt — for now.)

But what actually interests me about the story isn’t Paris Hilton’s rich-party-girl star appeal or the Sidekick 2, it’s actually the lamest bit, being these lame, lame, lame “secret” questions that are supposed to keep our highly sensitive information secure. In the case of Paris Hilton’s supposedly secret answer that she kept with T-Mobile, the answer was Tinkerbell. For all you Celebrity Jeopardy fans, please answer in the form a question. “What’s the name of your favorite pet?” Ding.

What’s next? How many ID theives are trying to get into Chelsea Clinton’s personal accounts with her mother’s maiden name (Rodham, as in Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton) or wait a minute, don’t around five hundred people your age know exactly where you went a elementary school — because they were there too?

Next time someone gets “hacked” because a stranger guessed that their favorite color was purple, maybe they should point a finger at the telecom companies for allowing such insecure information to govern our privacy.