electron zoo

Imagine using Google to find out where you stuck your phone bill, or when you last used your checkbook, or to tell you that your keys are underneath the folded newspaper to the left of your keyboard. This has long been the dream of disorganized internet junkies.

And thanks to the work of researchers whose desks contain some of the best analyzed clutter in the world, this dream will likely become a reality … in a couple of years.

These researchers use a webcam mounted above a desk to record where the items on the desk are moving, which then syncs with a computer to interpret which papers are which, how they’ve been moved, and where they might be found.

The system could also be used to interpret how a document has been organized — for example, you could use it to organize your vacation photos. If you went through your vacation photos, putting all those that are “safe for co-workers” to the right and all your wild and crazy party photos to the left, you could automatically organize the digital versions of the same photos at the same time. (Then again, who has the cash to have their photos printed these days, anyway?)

As exciting as this sounds, I’m not so sure these researchers are fully aware of all the challenges they face out here in the Real World. Take my desk, for instance — they can give me a call when they’re ready for this:

Backslash Backlash: This will be the name of my new metal band. Well, it would have simply been called Backslash, but that’s been taken by some rather tough looking Germans who could probably take me in a biergarten brawl. So Backslash Backlash it is.

The name of my metal band indicates my loathing and distaste for all humankind. (As the name of any metal band should do.) Well, maybe not for all humankind, just a vast majority — that majority being those who can’t keep the difference straight between a backslash (\) and a forward slash (/).

If you don’t know the difference … sigh. A slash (also known as a forward slash) leans forward (to the right), and is frequently used in punctuation and web addresses. A backslash leans backwards (to the left) and is infrequently used for anything at all. It was just invented in the 1950s and its main utility is in computer programming. The (forward) slash is beside your right SHIFT key. The backslash is really hard to find and often located in different positions on different keyboards.

Nonetheless, I’ve heard everyone from talk show hosts to family members claim that some web page or another can be found at "blah blah blah dot com backslash something something something" — in spite of the fact that a backslash will never appear in a properly formatted internet address. (I assume they think backslash is a fancy word for a slash. Well, you can’t blame ‘em for trying … right?)

And of course, I’m definitely not the first “enlightened” individual to observe this frequently-made mistake. Because what geek isn’t prone to just a little — the tinyest bit — of arrogance and elitism?